Archive for October, 2007

On our way to the courthouse

Posted in nice things, Uncategorized, wedding with tags , , on October 18, 2007 by bosquechica

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I did not like weddings much until I started planning my own (the first one, ten years ago). What I found, in Quebec, is that a legal wedding is even more emotionally charged than a “commitment ceremony”. I suppose I knew that already, but still was surprised when I spent the day alternately weeping and being astonished by the beauty of almost everything in the natural world. It was a day of affirmation, where we were driven in procession through the old town of Quebec, and everywhere we went people were smiling and waving at us. At us! I wish it would happen here at home, in the country where we are born citizens. I would wed Laurie again in any country, in any language, in any decade, for the rest of my life. Weddings aside, though, we are married, married, married. 

Photo and text Copyright © October 18, 2007 Teresa Valle. May not be used without permission. 

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And then there were 9

Posted in life with tags , , , on October 18, 2007 by bosquechica

Sometimes it seems to me there are no more than 9 minutes left in every day for writing and me I am not a linear or even a terribly productive person.

Yet I would say that a remarkable number of things do get done, in spite of my disinclination to do them. My friend Donna (who went, with her husband, to witness for us in Quebec) says that I am the most driven person she’s ever known.

This both baffles and flatters me (flaffle? blatter?), until I review, compare and contrast where we started, she and I as teenage runaways, hitchhiking from Las Cruces to Los Angeles without a single useable clue as to what we were doing or where we were going.

And somehow, even though I was patently less practical, more “at risk” than Donna (apologize for the quotes) by temperament and background, yet and still I kept going and going like an energizer bunny with chronically low batteries and somehow ended up with a bazillion years of education and surprising adventures and who woulda thunk it? Maybe the absence of a safety net had something to do with it? Yep, that’s me, up by the bootstraps and all.

Which is to say something like, how exactly did I get here?

Resume

Posted in marriage on October 9, 2007 by bosquechica

There we were, in Quebec. What a beautiful city. 400 years old, wonderful winding old streets. Laurie and I have been together for 12 years now. We had our first commitment ceremony in August of 1997, and at the time, we didn’t know very many people, gay or straight, who were comfortable using the word “marriage”. Gay folk and straight alike were, at that time, often uncomfortable (for assorted political or philosophical reasons) with the term marriage.

I myself like the word marriage. Prettier than wedlock. Handfast is nice — we had a handfast in our first ceremony. Commmitment is what we do when people need to be locked up for the good of self or society. I also like the Mrs. designation. Short for mistress. I’ve never been crazy about “Ms.” It’s not short for anything, and sounds contrived, or like it was created by social scientists. Not organic, anyway. But Mrs. hasn’t always strictly meant married — it also referred to women of substance, property, or independence. You may call me “Mrs. Bosquechica” if you like.

At our first wedding, we both wore white, with flowers in our hair. We held the ceremony at a ranch high in the aspens in northern New Mexico. There were 100, maybe 120 people there to share the moment and show love and support for our relationship. Lots of family on Laurie’s side, friends from both. We were married by Julie, a family friend, an ordained minister of the non-specific kind.

Lovely ceremony. The Circle A is still at least marginally a working horse ranch, but also a hostel. We rented it for three days, and after the wedding, we had a big reception, a song circle, plenty of food, hiking in the mountains. And on Sunday, Laurie and I drove away and circled the state, starting our own private time as married people.

That was ten years ago, and things are different now. I will say marriage as often as I want. I will say my wife, my partner, my girlfriend, my spouse. I think it is a lovely advantage to say “my girlfriend” when we’ve been together so long. I’ve noticed straight married people don’t do that. But really, doesn’t it sound so great? — try it, if you are married — my girlfriend, my boyfriend — like you are still blushing when you think of him/her during your workaday life.

Anyway. This marriage, in Quebec.

Was amazing and completely different than the first wedding. And now, I am out of time. When I get back from playing on the floor with babies, I will continue . . .

Quebec v Las Vegas

Posted in Uncategorized on October 3, 2007 by bosquechica

A brief comparison, coming this evening to a blog near you.