Year so far plus trashy anecdote

So far this year – that’s 6 days right? — I’ve been crazy overbooked, had a couple of nice hikes with the dogs, hosted a party for political bloggers and another for folk singers, stopped sleeping altogether, gone to urgent care with wheezing and bronchitis, alienated the staff at the rehab center where my mom is trying to recover from her stroke by asking stressy half-baked questions, looked at rentals for my brother to move here when my mom does and posted I don’t know three-four things on blogs 1 and 2.

Blogging personal history reminds me of this diary I kept when I was 12, where I made up things like “I want to be a skydiver” so that my creepy mom and brothers could find it, expose themselves as icky and intrusive, and I would feel justified in being mad and nasty to them.

It was a white leatherette diary, embossed with the words “My Diary” in gold print, with a little gold key that I hid in a small red silk chinese box in my closet. I got it the same year my g-mom gave me her favorite book of etiquette for young heathens — “White Gloves and Party Manners” — in a pointed commentary on my unladylike tendencies. She also sent me to dance classes and took me to museums in an effort to build my poise and public confidence.

Our neighbors gave us a flock of chickens that summer. We kept them hidden in the workshop behind the garage, where my dad (not a chicken fan) was unlikely to look. The workshop filled up with chicken shit and feathers. Behind the workshop was a little private office where my brother hung out, smoking joints with his buddies and making out with his girlfriend. Somehow, I got a chicken leg with a tendon dangling loose at the knee ( I suppose), and chased the other girls on my block with it, yanking the exposed tendon, making it contract into a little chicken-claw fist. Clutch and release. Eventually my dad noticed the smoke and the cackling out back, and then we were all in big trouble.

All of which is to say that the book was probably well intentioned and desperately needed. And no, I never wrote a thank you note for it.

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3 Responses to “Year so far plus trashy anecdote”

  1. haven’t laughed so much at a post in a long time, thanks T!

    “White Gloves and Party Manners”?? Good grief. A friend of mine was given a book entitled “How to be a Good Wife” by her Father on her wedding day about 6 years ago. It had a chapter ominously called “The Bedroom” which was truly icky.

    But seriously, look after the bronchitis, its not good.

  2. They gave me an inhaler, antibiotics and codeine at urgent care. I believe it was the chemical combination that stimulated this manic and utterly true tale of chickens and etiquette. Excuse me while I go write them a thank you note.

  3. Back atcha, Ybonesy. Natalie G is a tremendous teacher, isn’t she? Hey, I loved your gratitude alphabet – here’s the link – well, pretty much everything you and QM have been doing lately. I’d better get my butt over there and comment once in awhile!

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