Archive for the gay Category


Posted in community, family, farm, food, garden, gay, politics, random, recipe, this-n-that with tags , , , , , , , , on October 17, 2009 by bosquechica

I’m sneaking into my neglected non-fiction blog because it seems more private. Also because I’m about to make a colcannon as soon as the kitchen is under control, and this is a great place to post recipes. Also because I have an urge to say hostile things about the crazy religious right, which I won’t actually say right now, what with the colcannon and all, but just be aware, all of you crazies, that my patience is wearing thin. Damn you all, and pass the gravy.

I’ll let you know how the colcannon turns out.

Yes, you can

Posted in family, gay, history, marriage, politics, relgion with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on November 6, 2008 by bosquechica

Rights and benefits of marriage under law in the United States:

  • Right to many of ex- or late spouse’s benefits, including:
    • Social Security pension
    • veteran’s pensions, indemnity compensation for service-connected deaths, medical care, and nursing home care, right to burial in veterans‘ cemeteries, educational assistance, and housing
    • survivor benefits for federal employees
    • survivor benefits for spouses of longshoremen, harbor workers, railroad workers
    • additional benefits to spouses of coal miners who die of black lung disease
    • $100,000 to spouse of any public safety officer killed in the line of duty
    • continuation of employer-sponsored health benefits
    • renewal and termination rights to spouse’s copyrights on death of spouse
    • continued water rights of spouse in some circumstances
    • payment of wages and workers compensation benefits after worker death
    • making, revoking, and objecting to post-mortem anatomical gifts

Yes, you can.

  • Right to benefits while married:
    • employment assistance and transitional services for spouses of members being separated from military service; continued commissary privileges
    • per diem payment to spouse for federal civil service employees when relocating
    • Indian Health Service care for spouses of Native Americans (in some circumstances)
    • sponsor husband/wife for immigration benefits

Yes, you can. 

Yes, you can. 

  • Joint and family-related rights:
    • joint filing of bankruptcy permitted
    • joint parenting rights, such as access to children’s school records
    • family visitation rights for the spouse and non-biological children, such as to visit a spouse in a hospital or prison
    • next-of-kin status for emergency medical decisions or filing wrongful death claims
    • custodial rights to children, shared property, child support, and alimony after divorce
    • domestic violence intervention
    • access to “family only” services, such as reduced rate memberships to clubs & organizations or residency in certain neighborhoods

Yes, you can. 

  • Preferential hiring for spouses of veterans in government jobs

Yes, you can. 

  • Tax-free transfer of property between spouses (including on death) and exemption from “due-on-sale” clauses.

Yes, you can. 

Yes, you can. 

Yes, you can.  

  • Threats against spouses of various federal employees is a federal crime

Yes, you can. 

  • Right to continue living on land purchased from spouse by National Park Service when easement granted to spouse

Yes, you can.  

  • Court notice of probate proceedings

Yes, you can.  

Yes, you can.   

Yes, you can.   

  • Regulation of condominium sales to owner-occupants exemption

Yes, you can.   

Yes, you can.   

Yes, you can.   

  • Joint tax filing

Yes, you can.  

Yes, you can.   

Yes, you can.   

Yes, you can.   

Yes, you can.  

  • Permission to make funeral arrangements for a deceased spouse, including burial or cremation

Yes, you can.  

Yes, you can.  

  • Right to change surname upon marriage

Yes, you can.  

Yes, you can.  

Yes, you can.   

  • Spousal privilege in court cases (the marital confidences privilege and the spousal testimonial privilege)

Yes, you can. 


On this incredible, historic day, the first African American has been elected to be the President of the United States. A day for joy, for giving thanks, for seeing the future of all African-American children open up, bright and high as the sky.

It is also the day in which the exclusion into the basic and fundamental relationship of marriage and family has been codified into law, in the state constitution of California through the passage of Proposition 8.

So all of you good Americans out there, get out there and celebrate.

Yes, you can. 

For me, for mine, we are so excluded from this basic level of community, from inclusion in the American process, we are crying and angry on this most historic day, when we should all be celebrating, as one people, indivisible, with liberty and justice for all.

For some. For us, we have once again been denied full citizenship under the law. As a people, we are not even relegated to the back of the bus. We are not even on the bus. We are under the bus. Once again.

You believe your relationship is more legitimate than mine? Really? More normal? More moral?

Even in the absence of all of these special privileges that are granted to you heterosexual people of all colors and creeds, the one right I still have, at least for now, is the right to disagree with you and your vitriol, your judgment, your pettiness of spirit.

Yes, I can.


Posted in community, gay, politics, Uncategorized, writing practice with tags , , , , , , on February 2, 2008 by bosquechica

Prejudiced? Bigoted? Intolerant? Carrying around benign but silly biases?

Take this simple test to find out: 

Fill in the blanks: 

1. I don’t mind ___________________, I just wouldn’t want one marrying my (brother/sister/child/etc). 

2. Some of my best friends are ______________________. Estimate how many and write the total here = _____. 

3. Everyone knows that ______________________ are _____________________. 

4. _____________________ can’t be trusted. 

5. _____________________ are lazy. 

6. _____________________ are always late. 

7. I frequently say something like “Well, what do you expect – all _____________ are liars?” 

8. I will not go to this activity or place if I expect _______________________ to be there. 

9. The world would be a safer place if ________________ would leave/disappear/convert/etc. 


Recombine the words in the left two columns with the words in the two right columns that you associate with these groups. Mix and match as you like (Your person with mustache could be a tense power-hungry female – for example.)

Lesbian Christian
Pop Star
Talk Show Host
Person w/mustache
Person w/disability
Nascar fan

 Multiple choice: 

Most likely to start a war:

  1. Americans
  2. Arabs
  3. Homosexuals
  4. Homemakers

 Most likely to vote:

  1. Women
  2. Men
  3. Rock stars
  4. Convicted felons

 Most likely to help out in a natural disaster

  1. Republicans
  2. Democrats
  3. Libertarians
  4. Random strangers

 Most likely to share what they’ve got

  1. French
  2. Atheists
  3. Artists
  4. Programmers

 Most likely to pay taxes

  1. Christians
  2. Rich people
  3. Poor people
  4. Musicians

Please feel free to add an “other” line to any of the above multiple choice questions. 

How’d you do?

This is a score-it-yourself test. Remember those? On a scale of 1-5, with 1 being not at all and 5 being maximally bigoted: 

1. Full of love for all humankind – medicated and ready for world peace.
2. Some minor biases, but I try to see things with an open mind.
3. A little bigoted – I hadn’t really thought about it before.
4. Somewhat bigoted – that’s just how things are.
5. Absolutely bigoted, and proud of it.

The rights and responsibilities of marriage

Posted in gay, marriage, Uncategorized with tags , , , , on September 4, 2007 by bosquechica

The intent to marry must be posted in a public place for 20 days before the intended event. The marriage itself should take place in public, either at the courthouse or in some other appropriately solemn setting.

On the occasion of civil marriage, according to Justice Quebec:

Marriage is governed by the Civil Code of Québec, which concerns family law. It is founded on two key principles: equality between the spouses, and free choice of a matrimonial regime. The spouses must

  • choose the family residence together;
  • contribute toward household expenses according to their respective means;
  • jointly assume the debts contracted for the day-to-day needs of the family; and
  • comply with the legal provisions governing partition of the family.  

From the ceremony itself, this is what the magistrate said (paraphrased):

    • You are responsible for taking care of each other, your home and your family. You will contribute equally to that care. Equally may refer to monetary contribution, but may also refer to any balance of work and care agreed upon between you. You are responsible for living together in a shared household. If you cannot afford an independent living situation, you should still live together with extended family as defined by you.

    • You may change your name for social purposes, but for legal purposes, you will retain the same name after marriage as before.

What a nice country. What a beautiful thing, to base marriage on the assumption of equality. Wow, I got this feeling we were not in Kansas anymore.

Our hotel staff left this in our room while we were being ridden to the courthouse in procession in our flower-festooned bicycle rickshaws (more later!), and well, that was one more sweet moment in a remarkable day.

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